Don't Speak
by Like A Meteor
Summary: Remus is in love, and Sirius isn't making it any easier. RLSB. Slash. Marauders Era. [I suck at summaries Read&Review?]
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:Hi everyone! My name is Roare, what's yours? Aw, You have a lovely name. Anywhoooo. This is my first fanfiction and it's about my favorite puppy lovers: Sirius and Remus! I hope you love them as much as I do. Enjoy! **_and review!**_ Not quite subliminal as I'd hope for, but hey, a girl can try? ;;_**

**Summary: Remus is in love, and Sirius isn't making it any easier.**

**Rating: T for suggestive slash. That's right, it's slash. As in BOY ON BOY LOOOOVE. So if you don't fancy that just move along.**

**Disclaimer: SadlyonlyEuria is my OC. All other characters in this chapter belong to the beautiful and talented Joanne Kathleen Rowling as many of us would label as the GODDESS OF LITERATURE.**

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"Wake up Moony!" my bed shook as Sirius pounced onto my legs. I groaned unsuccessfully trying to roll over as Sirius straddled my hips. Fuck. I hate when he does that! I could feel a blush crawl up my neck and my face grew hot. 

"I'm up! Get off!" Trying to shove Sirius is like trying to move a building. Or maybe I'm just weak. Or maybe I wasn't trying to get him off. It _did _feel nice having him on top of me. Dammit! I need to stop thinking like that!

"What's wrong?" he leaned down, his face inches from mine. I could feel his hot breath tickle my already hot cheek. "Don't you love me?"

My heart almost stopped. My ears were probably scarlet. They do that when I get nervous. Damn traitors. "Yeah, right! Now get off!" I mumbled.

Sirius rolled off with a strange look in his eyes, though that infamous smile remained. He sat staring at me as a dog stares anxiously at his owner to play. "I'm bored!"

I sighed inwardly. "What about James? Or Pete? Where're they?"

"Prongs' got detention and Wormtail is getting tutored for Potions." He fidgeted restlessly staring up at me through those long thick lashes. "Come on," he whined. "Let's torture Snivelus!" His eyes lit up as the words left his perfect lips. God those were great lips. Upturned into a constant smirk. Perfect and full, and so damn kissable. I felt my heart flutter as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip. If I could just feel those flawless lips on mine I'd just—

"Moony?"

"Uh… what?" I pulled my eyes from his lips to find a playful grin on his face. He rolled onto his back, exposing his belly, as a dog would to show submission. The wolf recognized the action and came flaring to life. I crawled swiftly to him and gripped his shoulders, pinning him down. He grinned wildly and seized my shoulders to roll me onto my back. Padfoot was ecstatic that Moony wanted to play. What he didn't know was that Moony wasn't all playing. I had to use all of my self-control to keep the Wolf from ripping off his clothes and taking what he's been craving for so long.

I bit down on my tongue and jumped from the bed, almost flinging Sirius' body off as well. He looked up at me shocked and, was I imagining it? Or was there hurt in his eyes.

"What's wrong, Moony?" he pulled himself into a kneeling position at the top of my bed. God, how I loved the picture of him in my bed. Shit! Why can't I control my thoughts for one bloody second!

"Nothing's wrong." I muttered and moved across the room. The further I was from him, the less intoxicating his mere scent was.

"Fine." He responded coolly as he rolled off my bed and pad over to the trunk at the end of his own bed. I sighed deeply. I could almost _see _Padfoot sulking with his tail between his legs. The opportunity to touch Sirius was gone, and it was my fault. God, I hated myself sometimes. But I suppose I could always blame it on the approaching full moon.

I watched at Sirius pulled an armful of clothes from his trunk and saunter into the bathroom, closing the door promptly. I dragged myself back to my bed, collapsing onto the soft mattress. I should just curl up and sleep for the rest of the afternoon. It _was _Saturday so it wasn't like I needed to be in class. And I probably scared Sirius off for the rest of the day. What was stopping me from just sleeping the day away?

"Siri-kins?" a musical little voice called from behind the dormitory door. Euria. Sirius' newest sex toy. Or girlfriend. Whatever you'd prefer to call it.

I groaned and pulled my head up just in time to see Sirius emerge from the bathroom wearing rather snug muggle jeans and a white tee shirt that hugged every muscle on his chest.

He opened the door allowing Euria to bounce inside and throw her arms around his neck. God. The way she clung to him made me sick. Her bloody feet are off the ground! She's hanging on him!

A growl escaped my throat, which I ineffectively tried to cover up with a cough. Sirius' noticed. I know he did, for he pulled away from their kiss and gave me a look I'd seen him give before, but could never read. I cast my eyes down, and purposefully stared at my bare feet.

"Siri? What's wrong hon?" I had always liked Euria. She was a sweet girl. Quite beautiful, and always kind. I'd first met her in Transfigurations in my first year. She was supposed to be turning a beetle into a needle, but had somehow managed to give it a porcupine like spiked shell. When I offered her help she just giggled and proceeded to tell me she knew _how _to transfigure it, she was just nervous.

Yeah, I _had _liked her. Now, for some reason not known to me (really, I can't _begin _to ponder why I'd think this.) I couldn't stop from imagining just grabbing her…and shoving her off the astronomy tower.

"I gotta find my jacket, I'll meet you down in the common room." Sirius' voice crushed my train of thoughts. I heard the small sound of a goodbye kiss.

"Okay. See ya Remus!" She called and ambled out of the room, leaving Sirius and me. Alone. Once again.

I tried to preoccupy myself with a fraying thread on the hem of my pajamas as I heard Sirius shuffle towards me.

"You alright mate?" He asked as he sat beside me. His long legs touching mine unconsciously. God. He had no idea what that simple action did to me.

"I'm fine. Just tired" I gave a reassuring smile. It wasn't a _complete_ lie. I really _was _tired. But I wasn't fine. I hated seeing Sirius with girl after girl as I so often did. I just wish I could explain that to him without seeming…

"That's right. Full moon's tomorrow. You want me to tell Euria I'll meet up with her later? I could stay here if you'd like." He smiled that beautiful smile. The one that made every girl he passed swoon and obsess over him. But not the way I did. No one could feel the way I do. I'd pity them. _I _didn't even want to feel the way I do.

"No. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm just going to go back to bed." After a few minutes of assuring him that I'd take care of myself and just relax for the day, and that I didn't need him to stay with me, he finally believed me. He smiled and embraced me tightly giving me a (rather torturous) chance to take in his exhilarating scent.

He let go and sat there for a moment, staring at me in a strange way before jumping up and grabbing hold of his leather jacket.

"I'll be back in a few hours." He declared from the doorway, taking one last, prolonged look at me before exiting swiftly.

I fell back onto my pillows and gazed up blankly. What were all those looks he gave me? They seemed to mirror the looks of craving that I gave him.

Yeah right. Sirius Black: gay. Hell would freeze over before that happened.

Even if he _did_ like blokes. He wouldn't go for a guy like me. I was just a pale, scrawny, weak little werewolf. Why would he ever want someone like me when he could have anyone.

That's just it. He wouldn't. No one would.

I wouldn't.

_**A/N: **Hope you enjoyed it! You should review! D If there's any way you think I can improve I'd love to know. 3_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N- I'm not too partial to this chapter. But, eh. This is Sirius' POV. each chapter alternates. Sorry if the ending sucks. I didn't know where to go from there.**_

**Summery- Sirius breaks up with his girlfriend, but isn't quite prepared for her reaction.**

**Rating- I'm gonna just go and say T cuz it's got all this implied slashy-goodness. Ya know how parents just get all touchy and sensitive about that kinda stuff.( But really, who here's going to go run to mommy saying "Guess what anti-Christian scum I searched for than read on the World Wide Web!" Oh noes! I just entered the forbidden zone of Religion!)**

**Disclaimer- You know the drill. Goddess of literature, only own Euria, blah blah blahhh.**

I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have hugged him. The way he looked at me, like I was some kind of bug under his shoe. God. I'm such a bloody git.

I just couldn't help it. He looked so beautiful! The way the sun shone off his hair making a halo of light over him. He was an angel. My angel.

I know I shouldn't think like this but who's gonna stop me? I've been thinking like this for 3 years and I'm not about to stop now. That's right. I love him! I love everything about him. He's smart, kind, shy, and unsure of himself. He's beautiful.

I don't care if he doesn't love me. I mean, sure, it'd be great if he did, but I don't expect him to.

That's why I go with so many girls.

Ok. Even I realize how lame that sounds. Let me try again.

I first realized how I felt during the summer after our third year. Mum locked me in my room for being hexed by Regulus. Confused? Yeah. Welcome to my life. The hag said I must have provoked him, so once again it was my fault.

Anyway. Being locked up wasn't as bad as she'd hoped. It gave me time to think, and yes, despite what many people say, I like to think. About life. About school. About anything that comes to mind.

What came to mind was Remus. It didn't seem odd at first. I worried about him constantly after finding out about his...how James so eloquently puts it, "furry little problem". It wasn't until he began to frequently star in my dreams that I grew uneasy.

I started thinking about him all the time. I grew more and more excited as the days went by, anxious to finally see him again. I tried to convince myself that it was just the circumstances. I hated being in this god-awful house, surrounded by such cold hearted people. I missed my friends and the kindness they showed me. Yeah. I just wanted to get out of here. That had to be it.

The day finally came. The first of September. I piled into the car with Regulus, ignoring his sneers and remarks, ("Miss your boyfriends, do you? No worry, the four poufs will be reunited soon enough!"). After what felt like an eternity we made it to the Kings Cross train station. Regulus said his goodbyes while I was ignored. That meant I was free to go. I mumbled a goodbye and walked off, pulling my trunk behind me. As I moved through the crows I heard my named called out. I turned to see Remus waving and moving towards me. My heart leapt as he embraced me tightly.

So, yeah. I can pretty much pin-point the moment I knew my feelings for him were more than just friendship.

So back to now. Back to my pathetic excuses.

If you've ever loved someone who didn't love you, you must know how I feel. To try just about anything to get that one person out of your head. To want just one bloody minute of peace.

I felt that if I could occupy myself, maybe my feelings would just go away.

So I chose girls.

It didn't work out how I planned. Snogging just about every girl in this school just couldn't get me off. I mean, sure, I like girls, I'm still attracted to them and all, but not the way I'm attracted to Remus. Dozens of snogs with dozens of girls couldn't even begin to match up how I feel just when our shoulders brush, or when he grabs my hand when he's afraid.

I realize that nothing I do can change how I feel. That's why I decided to break up with Euria.

She's sitting by the fire chattering with Lily Evans about the latest news of the wizarding world. Lily smiles up at me, which causes Euria to turn my way. She leans up for a kiss as I saunter over only to be disappointed when I give her cheek a quick peck.

"Mind if I steal her for a bit, Evans?" I smile charmingly towards Lily, giving her a wink. She rolls her eyes and waves me off.

"Don't try to be like Potter, it's pathetic." She scoffed.

"Can do, Evans." I turn to Euria and nod to a private corner of the room. She follows quickly on my heels

"What's up, Siri?" She gazes up at me with her childlike eyes.

Damn. This is going to be a little more difficult than I'd hoped.

"Er…Euria…" I search for words to put it gently, though I know there are none.

She stares at me expectantly, urging me to continue with a nod of her head.

"I don't think it's working out with us." I readied myself for the tears.

But she simply nodded craftily. "Can I ask why?" she asked coyly.

"Uhm…It's just not." What did she want to hear? God. She could be a little more specific!

"But why?" She tilted her head. Her eyes never once left my face, causing me to look away uncomfortably. Why was she looking at me like this?

"I don't know! It just isn't. What do you want me to say?" I asked frustrated.

She just smiled serenely. "Is it because of Remus?" She asked in a low voice.

I swear I almost choked. That was _not _what I was expecting in the least. "Remus!" I asked incredulously. "Why would this have anything to do with Remus?"

Her grin simply grew from my reaction. Fuck.

"I see how you look at him. I didn't understand it at first but I caught on. Don't try to deny it because that would just be pitiful on your account. There is no denying it. Maybe you're not aware, maybe it just comes naturally to you, but I catch you staring at him for minutes straight. In class, over dinner, in the corridors."

I began to protest but she simply put a delicate hand over my lips to silence me.

"Don't worry, don't worry, I won't say a word to anyone. Your secrets safe with me, Siri-kins." She winked shrewdly.

I just stood there. Staring down at her. Was there any sense to argue with her? So what if she knows. It's not the end of the world. Besides, she said she wouldn't tell. But could I trust her with something like this?

"…Thanks." I answered finally, breaking our eye lock to look at the ground. That's it. I just admitted I was gay. Well... maybe not gay, but at least bisexual. There was really no turning back now, was there?

"No problem." I could hear it in her voice. She was being sincere.

I began to turn away when I felt her hand on mine, stopping me.

"One more thing," She pulled me closer to her. "You might like to know: the way you look at him," she paused and smiled slyly before she continued. "He looks at you the same way."

I couldn't really react. So I just stared at her. Was she just saying that? Was it true? It couldn't be! Could it?

My thoughts were racing faster than they'd ever been before. And she simply just beamed up at me, hugging me tightly before she slipped away, and back into the conversation with Lily. Leaving me. Standing there. Staring at the wall. That was… easier than I'd thought.

_**A/N- Thanks to those who commented. Love y'all so very much and I hope you like my story so far. I'm sorry this is up so late. I'm trying to get the chapters up every evening.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N- Hellooooo faithful readers…. Faithful readers? Looks around Anyone here?…….. Oh there you are! Whew! (Wow, how much of a freak am I?) Anywho. This chapters up early today due to my late night update yesterday. Makin' ya wait and all. So yay! Chapter 3! _**

**Summary- Remus has a dream which initiates Sirius' curiosity. But the more He tries to change the subject, the more force Sirius uses to find out.**

**Rating- Yes, T. Wonderous T. Lovely little T how we love you so. You got it. Slash. or at least implied slash depending on how you think of it.**

**Disclaimer- Lovely Jo Rowling ownz.**

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I jerked up in my bed. I'd been dreaming about Sirius. And me. Together. In his bed. Doing way more than just taking. 

I was breathless. Beads of sweat rolled down my warm face. I stole a glance towards Sirius' bed. The crime scene. His leather jacket lay on his trunk. Which meant he'd returned at some point while I was asleep. Dreaming. Which made it dangerously possibly that he heard something, being that I've been known to talk in my sleep.

I could hear him in the bathroom. The shower was running, steam leaking out from beneath the closed door. Which may be a problem considering I just now noticed how tight my pajama bottoms suddenly feel, and I have no way of knowing how long he's been in there.

I tried to catch my breath and lock out the thought of Sirius naked in the shower. Wet and soapy.

The shower squeaked off and I could hear his footsteps splashing through the remaining water. I could hear the sink go on and the sound of Sirius brushing his teeth.

I looked around nervously to see lumps in the shape of people in James and Peter's beds. Their curtains drawn but not blocking out the sound of James' machine gun snores.

I pulled the thick red comforter up to my chin as the bathroom door creaked open. Sirius ambled out, moving towards his bed without even glancing in my direction. His brow was furrowed giving him an all too serious look on his normally playful face. I couldn't help but chuckle softly. That seemed to be enough to get his attention, as he looked over in a rather tense way.

"Oh. Hey, Moony. I...uh didn't know you were awake." He smiled and sat at the edge of my bed.

I cleared my throat and moved uneasily to a sitting position. "Yeah, I uh…had a…dream."

"A nightmare?" he pulled his legs onto the bed and crossed them as his head tilted to the side slightly making his damp hair fall onto his bare shoulders.

"Uh, not exactly." I pulled my legs up against my body and hugged them tightly.

"Than what about?"

"I… er… don't wanna talk about it." I quickly cast my eyes down and scratched my ears to cover the rising blush, still trying to conceal my growing arousal as he moved closer.

"Tell me," he whined playfully. "Was it about that sexy little 5th year girl? Emma Smith is it?" he winked nudging me mischievously.

"Yeah." Fuck. I hope I didn't answer that too quickly. I quickly scanned the dorm for a reason to change the subject. "James sure can snore hm?" I gave a chuckle that sounded more panic-stricken than humorous.

He just smirked and stared into my eyes intently. "Liar."

"What? No really listen to him!" I'm pitiful. I know.

"Not about James! God knows that boy can snore." He turned his attention towards James bed before looking back at me with narrowed eyes, though the smirk remained.

Oh no. I know that look. "Sirius… Don't," I backed against the headboard as Sirius crouched low, readying himself to pounce.

"Sirius! I mean it! Don't even think about it!" I was trapped! There was no way to escape. He flashed his brilliant white teeth before attacking. The weight of his body on mine so suddenly knocked the breath out of my lungs. He had me pinned against the pillows with his backside in the air like the dog he was.

"I know when you're lying! Your ears turn red and you can't hold eye contact for more than a few seconds!" He grinned at my useless struggling. "Question is: Why? What are you hiding from me?"

"Get off!" I knew I was grinning like a mad man despite my dispute.

"Tell me what your dream was about and I'll let you go! But if you don't," he bared his teeth once again. "I'll have to release the beast within!" he gave a phony growl.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Right, you'd know all about the madness within! Now don't make me go wolf on you!"

"Ooh! And what a scary wolf you are! But you're nothing compared to the all mighty, terrifying Padfoot!" He growled and bit at my neck playfully. My body tingled and went limp under his body. The wolf submitting under his dominance. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. No doubt my face was scarlet. I hated that he could do this to me… But I loved how it felt.

He seemed to notice how he'd effected my because he lifted his head from my neck looked up at me, his beautiful gray eyes sparkling. I cast my eyes anywhere else but on his perfect face, despite the fact that my cheeks were growing red at the second. I felt him shift slightly so his legs straddled mine, his strong hands still keeping me pinned down.

"Remus…" His voice was no more than a husky whisper. He so rarely used my actual name. And I've only ever heard him use that voice when he was romancing the latest object of his fancy. I looked up at him, his eyes locking instantly with mine. My breath caught in my throat at the look he was giving me.

Time seemed to go in slow motion after that. His head leaned into mine. There was a look in his eyes that I'd never seen there before. Uncertainty. My eyes closed slowly as I anticipated what was to come.

"Don't press that!"

Time caught up as Sirius pulled himself away as James' once sleeping figure bolt upright. Damn James. Of all the nights for James to start sleep talking.

I groaned inwardly looking up at Sirius who was quickly retreating as James emerged from his bed rubbing his eyes.

"Hey mate." He muttered to Sirius as he stumbled into the bathroom, unaware of my piercing glares.

I looked at Sirius as he took in a deep breath, settling himself into his bed. The moment was over. Who knew if there would ever be another like it? He pulled the covers to his shoulders. I sighed and sunk back under the covers thinking of one thing. Well two. I couldn't help but wonder what tomorrow would be like. Would we talk about it? Would it be awkward or would it be just like any other day?

The second being how much I desperately wanted to strangle and kill James as he obliviously crawled back into bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

**_A/N- I love yew reviewers! Y'all kick so much butt! hugs and love!_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N- Yay! chapter four:) Strange that I've written most of this fic after midnight. What can I say? I love the nightlife._**

**Summery- Sirius tries to apologize but Remus doesn't want to hear it. There are essays to be written!**

**Rating- T for the pure yum of slash! **

**Disclaimer- Euria and Angerona. Thems be all that's mine. **

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I can't eat. I've been sitting in the great hall for almost an hour watching students shuffle in for breakfast. I occupy my mind by naming everyone walking in. It's surprising how many of them I actually know.

There's Elizabeth prattling on to Angerona about the essay due for Divinations tomorrow.

Euria, Lily and their timid 4th year friend Anna brush by taking a seat at the end of the table.

A group of greasy Slytherins sneer in my direction as they glided to their table at the end of the Great Hall.

I paid them no mind, being that Remus just entered the hall, walking slowly towards the table, his eyes glued to the marble ground. I smiled secretly as he sat beside me.

"Good morning Sirius." He peeked through his light brown hair that fell over his sallow cheeks. He looked paler than normal, probably due to the full moon tonight.

"Morning." I stared down at the runny eggs in front of me and poked them absentmindedly. I wasn't sure if I should bring up the events of last night. Or lack of thanks to James.

Remus picked at a brown piece of toast and sighed deeply. It was clear _he_ wasn't willing to begin a conversation any time soon.

"Remus…about…what happened last night, I… that is…it wasn't…uh…" I ran a hand through my hair nervously, noticing the small smile tugging at his lips. I took in a deep breath, gaining confident that maybe he didn't hate me, and continued. "Last night I—"

"Morning Padfoot. Moony." James strut towards the table with Peter close behind. Dammit Prongs!

"Hey." I grumbled and stabbed at the eggs on my plate aggressively. What was it with James and having such bad timing lately?

"Good morning James. Good morning Peter." Remus smiled brightly as the last of our group joined us.

"So what's on the agenda for today mate?" James dropped himself across from me and began shoveling food onto his plate.

"Well I'd like to get the rest of my homework done before tonight. I haven't finished my Astronomy essay yet, and I'm guessing none of you did it either?" Remus popped a piece of toast in his mouth, seeming to regret it instantly by the look on his face.

"_I _finished mine yesterday!" James said indignantly with a mouth full of potatoes.

"I didn't pass my Astronomy exams last year." Peter whined as he poked at his breakfast.

"That's riiight!" James teased pointing his fork at Peter. "Didn't you get a Dreadful on that?"

"James leave him be." Remus shook his head smiling.

"I haven't even started mine." I muttered and stuffed a piece of bacon into my mouth.

Remus stood abruptly. "Come on than, we need to get this done before 8." He took hold of my hand sending shivers up my arm and pulled me up. "We'll see two later." He called to James and Peter as he dragged me towards the doors. The last thing I saw was James giving Lily the eye before we were alone in the entrance hall.

"I've just got to grab my books from the dormitory, than we'll head to the library alright?" he smiled brightly.

"You seem rather chipper this morning." I noted with a smirk. He simply shrugged, though his ears turned a shade of red. We reached the portrait of the Fat Lady and he chirped the password, 'worm wood'.

She swung over allowing us to climb inside. We ambled through the common room and clambered up the stairs to the silent dorm. He turned swiftly, without warning causing me to stumble into him.

He blushed and took a step back quickly, looking down. "Sorry."

"Don't be." I smiled reassuringly. He turned swiftly and began gathering his books.

I cleared my throat. May as well get this over with now before James interrupts. "About last night," I paused seeing him stiffen up for a moment before continuing. "I don't know what really happened. It was late and we were tired, and things just—"

I hadn't noticed him cross the room, but before I knew it his lips were on mine. I stood frozen, taking a moment to process. I guess I took too long, for he pulled away staring up at me unsure of my reaction.

I tried to assure myself that this wasn't a dream, but it was more difficult than I'd hoped. I didn't notice that I hadn't moved an inch until Remus spun around hanging his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It was stupid of me. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm such a bloody prat!" he scolded himself in a single breath.

I grabbed his arm turning him back to face me. I pressed my lips onto his. If this was a dream, why not ride it out?

I held him against me tightly, fearing I'd wake up any minute to find myself in my bed, alone and sweating.

But I didn't wake up. Not when I felt his grip on my shoulders. Not as my tongue parted his lips to invade his mouth. Not even as we toppled onto one of the beds.

The room around us faded until there was just us, together, in the middle of the most amazing snog in the history of snogging. Oy. That was lame. But I'm kind of preoccupied at the moment!

Remus was the first to break for air. "We…have to finish… those essays." He managed to say between gasps.

"Oh, bugger those." I groan and go to continue the kiss. He pulls away and rolls off the bed.

"I can't afford to get a failing grade in astronomy! You know my deal with Dumbledore was that I had to maintain good grades if I want to continue school here." He attempted to straighten his mussed hair.

"Dumbledore isn't going to expel you for one failed essay. Besides it's the full moon tonight, it's not like you don't have a reason to miss one or two assignments. I doubt he'd even expel you if you _were_ failing! He's not that type!" I could hear the whine in my voice, but I couldn't help it. It was cruel to expect me to be able to simply go on properly with my day after that kiss. He didn't seem to agree, as he just glared at me sternly, though he was having obvious trouble keeping the grin off his face.

I sighed and pulled myself up. "Fine." I gave another melodramatic sigh and glided towards my school bag. I could feel his eyes rolling as I slung my bag over my shoulder. When I turned, he had closed the distance between us. He slipped his arm around my neck and planted a small kiss on my lips. He had to stand on his toes to reach my height. When he drew back, his cheeks were flushed and he gazed downward.

"I… I keep feeling like I'm about to wake up, and find out all of this was just a dream." He mumbled hesitantly. I smiled and embraced him tightly.

"Think of it this way: If this _is _a dream, we'll get to do it all over again when we wake up." I nestle my cheek into his hair taking in his scent. All we can do is stand there holding each other, wishing this moment would never end.

"Sirius?"

"Mm?"

"We need to write our essays."

I smiled despite myself and let my hands trail down his thin arms. "Do we have to?" I pouted my lips as he pulled away chuckling.

"Tell you what. If I see that you're working hard enough we'll take a break." He grinned as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

"To do what?" I flashed a mischievous grin.

He simply just smirked and turned towards the door. "Use your imagination."


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N- Ya know Roare? She's that crazy insomniac who writes fan fiction at 2:30 in the morning while watching Futurama. I spoil you guys, I know. But, hey, it happens when you're high on Snapple and bad cartoons. Shrugs Anyway. In this chapter the italic print is supposed to be the wolf thinking, though I'm sure you'd get that eventually.**_

**Summary- The pain of the transformation. The loss of ones mind. The comfort of kin.**

**Rating- T.**

**Disclaimer- J.K.R. owns it all mann.

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The sun's setting. Madame Pomfrey is escorting me to the willow. The protector of my deepest secret. Of my ugliest flaw.

I watch numbly as she prods the knot in the trunk of the thrashing tree, causing it's thick branches to freeze, mid swing. She leads me through the narrow pathway until we emerge in a dust-covered hall.

"Now. Mr. Lupin, will you be alright from here on?" She asked in a perceptive voice. I nodded reassuringly and gave her a smile.

"I'll be fine. I _am _a pro at this." I couldn't help the bitterness in my voice.

She simply gave my shoulder a soft squeeze and smiled pitifully. "I'll be back tomorrow morning at 7 o'clock sharp. Alright?"

I nodded and she pat my shoulder one last time before bustling away rather swiftly, leaving me in the gray, empty hall.

I sighed deeply and walked into the next room. I removed my robes gradually until I stood exposed to the bitter cold air that blew through the broken windows and cracked boards. I shivered and pulled the shabby comforter from the queen sized bed that stood in the corner of the room. I pressed my cheek against one of the frost bitten windows and stared out as the sun slowly descended behind the mountain range.

"Gah! Wormtail that was my foot you just crushed!"

"Sorry! It's not my fault! It's so bloody dark!"

"Will you both just shut it!"

"Bite me, Padfoot! OW! I didn't mean literally! You mangy mutt! Get back here!"

A large black dog bound into the room, leaping onto the bed at my side and barking madly at his pursuer. His tail wagging wildly. James jumped at the dog, grabbing it around the neck, kneading his fist into the dog's head. Peter was last to enter, half his body invisible, and his arms filled with Sirius' shed clothing.

I couldn't help but smile at the site of them, and before I could stop myself I was laughing. "You're all ridiculous, do you know that?" James must have taken this as a compliment from the proud smile on his face. Peter had managed to tangle himself in the invisibility cloak and was struggling not to fall.

Padfoot on the other hand had slipped from James' grip and crawled to the edge of the bed whimpering like a hurt puppy. I gave a snort and pat his head. He sprung at me unexpectedly knocking me to the floor licking my cheek. I blushed slightly attempting to shove him off.

"I'm sorry, do you want us to give you some privacy?" James pat Peter on the shoulder and pulled him up leading him to the door mockingly.

"Very funny Prongs." I sat up, forcing Padfoot to roll off. He stretched and trot around the room sniffing at the floor boards and the frosty air. I smiled as Peter dumped the invisibility cloak and clothes into the corner at the opposite end of the room and James collapsed onto the bed with his hands behind his head.

"I'm thinkin' of letting Evans go to Hogsmead with me next week." He thought out loud.

"Does she know that?" Peter mocked walking towards the bed.

"Well she should come to expect it by now! I've asked her every time since 3rd year! But this time will be different!"

"She wont laugh in your face?" Peter shot back with a smirk.

That was the last I heard of that conversation. Enter the pain.

My skin was on fire. I let out an earsplitting scream as my jaw cracked and stretched.

Padfoot was at my side before James and Wormtail could even transform. He gently licked the tip of my nose. _I snarled and swat at him viciously, missing him only by a centimeter._ He inched backwards placing his head on his paws and watching me intently as a large stag appeared behind him, with a pudgy rat on his back_. I turned my back to them and pressed against the wall growling deeply as blankets of fur pierced through my flesh like needles._ This pain was unbearable_! I had to end it one way or another! Whatever was causing me such pain would pay! I sank my razor sharp fangs into my arm. _If I could focus the pain to one point, it wouldn't be as bad. I let out a scream, which melted into a howl.

_I growled deeply as I got to my paws. I wasn't alone. I turned to find the intruders. No. These weren't intruders. These were friends! My pack! My tail wagged._

_"Friends!" I barked and leapt to their sides. I circled them, taking in each of their scent, stopping at the other like me. He was more than pack. He was mine. My mate. My love. I adored this one. He yipped and bowed._

_"Wanna fight?" He circled me excitedly, nipping at my back paws. I grinned and snapped at him._

_"Come on, let's go explore!" The large one stepped between us and looked anxiously towards the door. I began to growl, no one was allowed to come between my mate and me. Not even kin._

_"Yes, Moony let's go!" my mate smiled, his tail wagging wildly. That's right. I was called Moony. The large one was called Prongs, the small one was Wormtail, and my mate was called Padfoot._

_Prongs trod off, disappearing down the hole in the wall. Padfoot licked my jaw and urged me to follow._

_Within seconds we were free. Cold air whipping around us as we ran. Frozen earth crunched beneath my paws. The smells were over whelming. The sweetness of the forest. The bitterness of the dirt. And the faint smell of warmth coming from the distance._

_But there was something else. Human. I grinned. Dinner._

_I raced towards the scent, closing in quickly. There it was. Alone. Without it's pack. Helpless. I jumped forward, blocking its escape. This one was female. Slow, and with just the right amount of meat._

_She screamed for help. A useless gesture._

_"No one can help you!" I howled and slowly proceeded. Her fear thick in the air. The fear always made meat just that much sweeter._

_"Moony! Don't!" Prongs kicked me in the side sending me flying. I leapt to my feet and growled._

_"Move!" I snarled and sprang forward. I swat at him viciously. He may be kin, but that gave him no right to come between me and my prey._

_Padfoot slammed into me, knocking me down once more. I growled and got to my paws. He snapped at my tail before jumping to the side._

_"Let's play!" he grinned as he bowed low. I swat at him, but came no-where close to hitting him. He was pouncing around like a cub. I turned to see the retreating figure of my prey. I growled and turned back to my mate._

_"You cost me a meal!" I stalked forward, ready to pounce._

_"Come on, catch me!" he turned and raced into the forest. I howled and chased after, wanting to play, rather than wanting to kill._

_The night consisted of nipping and playing and simply racing. By the time we made our way back to the angry tree I was ready to curl up and sleep._

_We made our way through the dark tunnel until we were once again inside four walls._

_Padfoot leapt onto the bed, circling a spot several times before settling. Prongs rested himself by a pile of cloths at the opposite end of the room, Wormtail by his side. I climbed onto the bed with Padfoot, curling up at his side. I licked his nose affectionately before resting my muzzle on his front paws. He let out an exhausted groan and lay his head beside mine._

I was awaken by an icy breeze. I rubbed at my eyes and looked around wearily. James was curled beneath a thick maroon blanket with Peter at the other end. They both seemed to have dressed at some point in the night.

Sirius lay at my side sleeping soundlessly. And naked. I blushed extensively noticing how very naked I was as well. I wondered if I could grab a robe or tee shirt or something without waking Sirius, but as I moved I let out an audible gasp of pain.

Sirius moaned and rolled over to face me. "You ok?" he muttered sleepily.

"As ok as possible." I winced which caused him to sit up. Either he didn't notice we were both completely undressed and in bed together, or he didn't care. He simply took my arm and examined a large bite mark.

"Bloody hell. You really did a number on yourself this time." He checked the rest of my arm before pushing the covers to my hips. I turned red and pulled them back up to my neck quickly. Too quickly. A sharp pain ran up my arm making me take in a sharp breath. "Don't…" I murmured.

"Moony, let me just look." He placed his hand on mine, looking fixedly into my eyes.

I hate my body. I've always tried covering it up in the presence of… anyone. Especially Sirius. I mean… he knows the toll the full moon takes on me. But if he saw just how bad it was... I was afraid he'd be disgusted.

Seeing no response from me, he slowly began to pull the blanket down. I stiffened, readying myself for his reaction.

Silence.

Oh no. He couldn't even speak. Was he that sickened?

I stole a glance in his direction. He was staring, wide eyed at my stomach. Harsh red gashes crawled up my sides. A dark purple hoof shaped bruise throbbed painfully under my ribcage.

I could feel my eyes prick with tears. No. I can't cry. Not now. I couldn't help but looked away, biting my lip.

I suddenly felt warm lips on my chest. My eyes snapped back to find Sirius gently kissing each and every scar and bruise he could find.

He looked up through his dark lashes and smiled softly. "Does this help at all?"

I nodded once, staring down at him incredulously. His smile only grew from the look on my face. "Your scars are part of who you are. They show how strong you are, and at the same time… how fragile. And they're beautiful, because they make you…you. And I love you." He planted one last kiss, on my lips this time before drawing back.

"I should get dressed and wake those two." He indicated to the two snoring lumps on the floor. I nodded, attempting to give a smile, but gave up, as it was too painful.

He leaned over the side of the bed, grabbing a pair of navy blue boxers and sliding them up his legs. He got up and began to fully dress himself with his back facing me. I couldn't help but stare as his back arched as he pulled a tee shirt over his head. He slipped a pair of jeans over his boxers before turning to face me. He smiled at the look of awe on my face. I still couldn't believe someone so perfect could want me. I was still afraid I would wake up any minute to find out this was all just another dream.

"Like what you see?" he chuckled crawling back onto the bed. I blushed deeply, though I couldn't keep the grin off my face. He said he loved me. So why am I still acting like the slightest show of attraction would repulse him? I guess old habits die hard.

He simply placed a kiss on my forehead, smiling profusely. He handed me a pair of trousers before climbing off the bed and walking towards the two sleeping figures.

"James. Pete. Wake up, it's almost 7." He kicked each in turn.

James simply groaned and rolled over. "Yeah…just… five minutes professor." He mumbled.

Peter sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning as Sirius grabbed the blanket off of the two. "Wake up, Prongs!" he gave him another nudge with his foot. James responded by swatting the offending foot with his hand. He pulled himself up, scratching at his head.

"Atta boy Prongs, up and at em." Sirius threw two pairs of shoes at the boys before sitting at the edge of the bed and pulling on his own.

Within minutes they said their goodbyes and were making their way out. After James and Peter were out of the room, Sirius rushed back to the side of my bed, planting a kiss on my lips. Instinct took over and my hands found their way around his neck, pulling him close to me despite my aching body. I quickly felt his hands removing mine and he pulled away smirking. "Don't temp me to stay. I don't think I'd never want to leave." He pressed his lips on mine for one more moment before drawing away to the sound of James' voice calling from the other room.

"I'll see you." He smiled and made his way out of the room to make his escape.


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N- I can't believe people actually like my writing! I loove you all!_ _I'm sorry this chapter is kinda short. But at least it's got fluff and drama! Anyway. You know it's late when the words on the computer screen start dancing together as you type... I should probably sleep...or...see a doctor. Whichever's easier :-P_**

**_P.S.- _****_I'm sorry to say that I'll be taking about a week long hiatus to study and prepare for (than TAKE) my midterms. Sorry to leave ya on a cliffie but hey, it's what J.K.Rowling would've wanted ;) After midterms I promise to get back to the writing and what not, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to update daily. I'll be returning to school (I've been homeschooled for the passed two months) and I'll have alot less time on my hands. But I'll deffinatly try to find the time to write, being that it's one of the few activities that I can put my heart into._**

**Summary- Sirius visits Remus in the Hospital Wing. Everything's going fine until an unwanted visitor interrupts.**

**Rating- T. As usual. (FLUFF AND DRAMAAAAA)**

**Disclaimer- I _wish _I owned Sirius and Remus. But noooo. Jo had to go and come up with the idea first.

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I can't concentrate. Professor Slughorn has scolded me three times already for not paying attention. But I can't help it. I miss Remus!

I know I saw him just this morning but I just feet anxious when we're not together.

I tap my quill on the table tensely, sinking into my seat with a sigh. I see James grumble something and tear off a piece of parchment that he slips under the table. I grab it and unfold it to read the note.

_Padfoot_

_If you don't stop tapping that bloody quill, I'm going to shove it so far up your bum your head will hurt._

I mutter and apology as I drop my quill and lean my head back. Professor Slughorn instructs us to write a foot long essay on Felix Felicis for homework before dismissing us.

I gather my things as quickly as I can manage, wanting desperately to get out of this dungeon.

"Slow down mate." James laughs as he takes his time putting his books into his bag and smirking at a rather annoyed Lily.

"I'm going to go check on Moony. I'll catch up with you later." I answered as I began to rush towards the door.

"Yeah, and where do you think we're going? Church? Just hang on a minute."

I groaned. "If you weren't so slow…" I muttered under my breath and leaned against the cold dungeon walls to wait.

"Why are you in such a rush? It's not like he's going anywhere." Peter joined James' side, allowing us to finally depart.

"I'm not rushing." I shrugged and brushed a lock of black hair from my eyes casually. Time to change the subject. "So Prongs. Have you asked Lily to go with you to Hogsmead this weekend?"

James' mood dropped as he nodded. "Mm." He mumbled noncommittally.

"She told him she would rather kiss a **Blast-Ended Skrewt** than go anywhe—OW!" Peter was cut short by an elbow in the ribs delivered by James.

"Just drop it, alright?" James said rather aggressively as we finally made it to the infirmary.

Remus lay in a cot at the end of the room by a row of windows. The overcast sky outside darkened the room and gave his pale skin a gray tinge. He turned his attention to us as we made our way to his side and smiled.

"How do you feel?" Peter inquired.

"I'm feeling better. But it could just be all the pain killers Madame Pomfrey's forced on me." He chuckled. I took a seat at the side of his bed as James made himself comfortable on the cot next to us. "So how did classes go today?" he asked.

"Padfoot got yelled at like, ten times for daydreaming." James laughed.

"It was three times!" I shot back with false indignation. James simply waved this bit of information off as Madame Pomfrey bustled into the room with a tray occupied by a sandwich, a glass of pumpkin juice, a slice of orangey cake, and two small pills.

"Here you are Mr. Lupin. You should have something in your stomach before you take these, so do your best to eat what you can." She glared distastefully at James.

"Thank you ma'am." Remus smiled as she placed the tray on the nightstand beside the bed before shooting James one last nasty look, and leaving the room. Remus looked at the food wincingly.

"Well if you're not gonna…" James went for the sandwich but caught my glare.

"He needs to eat. If you're so hungry why don't you go to lunch?"

James sighed and rolled off the bed. "Fiiiine. Come on Pete." James turned to me as they were ready to leave. "You coming?" he questioned.

"I'm not that hungry. I'm gonna stay with Moony."

James simply shrugged and turned to leave. "See ya than, I'm starving." He and Peter left quickly.

When we were finally alone I turned towards Remus and smiled. I leaned in and kissed him keenly, my fingers interweaving through his tawny hair. I drew back, tilting my forehead into his. "How do you feel?"

"Much better now that you're here." He smiled impishly. "So. What's this about you getting in trouble _three_ times? What happened?"

I shrugged and sat myself beside him on the bed. "I just wasn't paying attention when Slughorn was giving instructions. It's no big deal. I was worried about you." I smiled sheepishly.

"You don't need to worry about me, Sirius. Nothing's going to happen to me in _here_." He indicated the room around us.

"I know. But I can't help it. It just comes naturally."

He smiled and drew himself up, kissing me tenderly. I slipped my hands onto his shoulders, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.

I felt his body go rigid as a loud thud echoed through the room. We pulled away from each other promptly, to find the source of the sound.

My heart sank.

I couldn't breathe.

There, staring at us in pure shock and madness, of all people, stood Severus Snape.

A slow smirk crept across his face as his beady black eyes narrowed. "And here I thought today would be rather uneventful." He jeered.

"Severus…" Remus' voiced shook.

"I always knew you were a fruit, Lupin. But Black," he scoffed, cutting Remus off. "I'm sure there are a few young ladies who would be crushed at that little fact. What a pity it will be for them to find out."

I leapt from the bed and made my way across the room before I could even think. I shoved him against the wall and drew my wand, pointing it threateningly at his head.

"Sirius, don't!" Remus begged from his bed.

"Mr. Black!" Madam Pomfrey rushed over and wrenched me off before I could strike the greasy git. "_What _is going on!"

Snape simply gave a twisted smirked. "Nothing at all, Madame Pomfrey. Headmaster Dumbledore just wanted me to deliver this to you." He pulled a roll of parchment from his robes and handed it to her before kneeling down to gather his books.

"So what, may I ask, do you think _you_ were doing, Mr. Black?" She glared at me piercingly, though my eyes never left Snape's revolting sallow face.

I narrowed my eyes before taking in a deep breath. "Nothing. I was just fooling around." My jaw and fists clenched, using all of my strength not to just beat him to the ground at that very moment.

Madame Pomfrey sighed sharply. "Mr. Black, I think you should leave. You too Mr. Snape. Remus needs his rest."

Snape smirked and strode from the room. I turned swiftly and made my way back to Remus' bed. When his gaze met mine, I wanted nothing more than to just hold him. He had a deep look of fear in his eyes. But being that we were under the watchful eye of Madame Pomfrey, all I could do was hug him lightly.

"It'll be fine. Don't worry." I whispered before I pulled back, grabbing my bag. And it would be fine. I would make sure Snape didn't say a word.

After all, the greasy little prat can't speak if I kill him.


	7. Chapter 7

_**AN-Oh man oh man oh man! I'm sorry I haven't updated in like…a month...or two! When I went back to school I had oodles of homework and what not and I had no time to write. ): And finally when I was planning on sittin' down and writing some more puppy love slash, I got a bug that was goin' around. The bug turned into the flu (which I still have, but it's gotten better) and I could barely get the energy to sit up. So those are my lame excuses for being a bad fanfiction writer! But on the plus side, I got on the B honor roll and passed all of my midterms! Yay Roare!**_

**Summary- Plotting in the common room leads to unsureness. **

**Rating- T for slashy greatness.**

**Disclaimer- J.K.R. is the beautiful and talented creator of the Hogwarts world.**

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I'm worried.

It's only been a week since Severus found Sirius and me in the hospital wing, but it feels like a month. The days drag on for what seems like forever. I can't stand not knowing what's going to happen when he tells everyone the second biggest secret of my life.

Sirius has been overly protective of me lately. I can't help but wanna bop him over the head for thinking that I need it (I _am _the second oldest in the marauders, next to James.). But hey, I'm only human; I'm not going to turn down extra attention from _the amazing Sirius Black_.

At the moment Sirius, James, Peter, and I are waiting for the last few people to leave the common room for the night.

Sirius suggested it's been far too long since our last prank on _Snivellus, _and that if we keep slacking like this the Marauders name would be scum. So he and James were brainstorming over a game of wizard's chess while Peter squirmed restlessly in his seat as he watched, slipping James some rather unsubtle, "secret" advice on capturing Sirius' king.

"Very smooth Wormtail, you're like some kind of secret agent!" I chuckled over my worn out copy of Hogwarts: A history.

He smiled bashfully and looked down swiftly. "So I guess secret-keeper is crossed off my list of possible careers, huh?"

"Being a secret-keeper isn't a career, Wormtail. And you're not bad at keeping secrets you just suck at whispering. No worries!" Sirius let out a barking laugh, unconsciously placing his hand on my knee in his fit of amusement. I blushed slightly and knocked it off gently, before the others could notice and begin with the questioning.

Or maybe I'm just far too touchy on the subject of _us_. I'm sure that odd look James just flashed me was just in my imagination.

Yeah. Just my paranoid, over-active imagination.

I quickly retreated back to reading as the others continued their game.

"How about the Furnunculus curse mixed in with a nice Jelly-Legs jinx?" James snorted and began to imitate Snape's reaction to waking up to find tentacles on his face.

"Not painful enough! I was thinking a nice crucio curse." Snickered Sirius as he folded his arms and leaned into the couch in his smug manner.

Peter gave a shocked squeak and stared, wide eyed at Sirius. "But that's an unforgivable! We'd be sent to Azkaban!"

"Seriously, Sirius." James choked back a laugh as Sirius shot him a death glare at his sad excuse for a joke. "I mean I hate the git as much as the next guy, sure, but he's not worth getting sent to _that _. Though I gotta admit I've imagined using an unforgivable on 'im once or twice, but than I thought 'Nay, James! Nay. No amount of pleasure could bribe me into horror such as that of Azkaban!'" He draped his body dramatically over the arm of the chair he'd been sitting in, placing the back of his hand on his forehead for that extra touch.

"That is… Unless a certain red-headed beauty were to be providing said pleasures." He declared in an unnecessarily loud voice as Lily strode by, no doubt on her way to her dormitory. He grinned coltishly as she gave an audible "harrumph" and tossed her scarlet hair, though there was a small smirk on her face.

"Some day my flower! Some day!" He called after her beaming uncontrollably. He basically jumped at Peter after she disappeared, and shook him violently. "You see that! She was smiling! I'm finally breaking that spiteful front she's had for so long!" He practically choked Peter in a celebratory hug.

I tuned him out after that and turned my attention towards Sirius. He was staring into the fire, his head bowed slightly. He wore a thoughtful look on his face as he took in a deep, uneasy breath. Possibly feeling my gaze he looked up, locking eyes with mine. He gave a weak smile before turning back to the burning embers.

I sighed and closed my book. I didn't think this was as big an issue as he was making it.

So we fancy blokes, and we happen to be in love with each other. Was that such a terrible thing that Sirius was willing to brood over not being able to Crucio Snape?

Or was he ashamed? Afraid of what people might think if they found out that the great Sirius Black, known as the notorious ladies man of Hogwarts, had a _boyfriend_?

Or was he fine with people knowing that?

Was it that he was afraid they'd find out his boyfriend was _me_?

No. Surely _that _wouldn't be it.

Would it?

I groaned inwardly and closed my eyes, rubbing my temples. I secretly curse myself for thinking so much and hoist myself up abruptly.

"I'm going to bed. Night." I made my way swiftly up to the dormitory before they had a chance to argue.

I tossed my book onto my trunk before collapsing onto the bed with groan. "That's not it. He's not ashamed of me." I declared to the darkness trying hard to convince myself.

"Who's not ashamed of you?" I jumped at Sirius' sudden appearance. I shrugged and pulled myself into a sitting position, my back propped up against the headboard. Sirius smiled as he joined me on the bed. "Not gonna tell me? Hope it's not some _other_ secret lover ya got on the side, cuz I might have to hex him to hell." He chuckled and stretched forward, planting a kiss on my cheek.

"No. No other guy. There's no one for me but you." I smile weakly, as he smirked brazenly, practically pouncing on top of me, pressing a much fiercer kiss on my lips. I gave in and wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him in to deepen the kiss. His perfect, lean body pressed against my own slight, feeble one. One of his hands cupped the back of my neck, while the other allowed its fingers to entangle themselves in my hair. A soft moan escaped my throat as his body shifted against my own, sending a shiver up my spine, as he could so often do with a simple look. I felt him smile slightly as his tongue grazed over my top lip asking for entrance. I parted my lips, allowing him in. We battled for dominance as his hand ran down my jaw to my neck, making me go weak under his touch.

Neither of us noticed James and Peter enter.

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_**A/N-Holy cheesecake! Am I right? Teehee. So few times have I read having James and Pete walk in on the pups to find out about the two. So naturally I had to. I threw in the yummy detailed snog scene for ya to make up for me being a bad little fic writer. I'm sorry if it's short, but I had to end it there. Cliffie's rule and you know it!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N- If anyone's still there… I'm sorry. Like..Really really sorry. I'm not going to try to make excuses as to why it's been... what… a year? Sure feels like it. I'm just going to say… life happened… you can fill in the rest with your imagination if you please. But, enough with the past and onto the now. Let's see where I'm going with this huh? I know I'd love to know!_**

**Summary- Peter and James find out. (Sirius' point of view)**

**Warning- T for slash.**

**Disclaimer- Remus, Sirius, Peter, James, and the whooooole Hogwarts world came from the incredible mind of J. K. Rowling.

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"Bloody hell…" Peter was the first to inturrupt.

Remus gasped and shoved at me, causing me to fall backwards on the bed. He was flushed scarlet, no doubt a reflection of my own face.

Peter, who appeared to be just as embarrassed as Remus and I, cleared his throat and grabbed at James' sleeve awkwardly. "Oh erm, carry on! We'll just go!" he choked out and pulled James towards the door.

"Wait! We…it was…" I scrambled from the bed, desperately trying to explain what they'd just seen. But I don't think there's much explaining I can do. What they saw…well that was pretty much the gist of it. I turned to Remus for some back up, but he currently had his head in his hands as if it were about to implode.

"Moony…" I walked over, kneeling down in front of him. "Remus. Look at me." His eyes had been squeezed shut, as if he could rewind time simply by wishing it.

"Rem." I said a bit more softly, taking both of his hands in mine, drawing them away from his face. I smiled weakly as he looked down at me. His golden eyes were filled with fear.

"Come on." I stood, not releasing his hands for even a minute.

"Sirius, I cant…" His voice shook slightly as his head hung forward. My hand unconsciously brushed a lock of sandy brown hair that had fallen in his eyes.

"What if they—"

"What if they what? Hate us? Shun us? Chase us out of town with torches?" I chuckled trying to lighten his mood. He cringed slightly, pulling his hands from mine and folding his arms over his chest tightly. Perhaps that wasn't the best analogy.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "Ok, I'll talk to them. You can stay up here. Alright?"

"No… I…" He groaned and rubbed his head. "Let's just… go." He sidestepped me and swiftly walked towards the door. I had to run to catch up with him. I grabbed his arm as we reached the stairway to the common room and turned him to look at me.

"It's going to be alright." I reassured, giving his hand a slight squeeze.

I didn't know that. I was terrified myself to find out how James and Pete would react. Different scenes played in my head as we made our way down the stairwell. Most involved them laughing and mocking us.

I hoped it wouldn't come to that.

They'd understand right?

Or at least not… hate us…. hopefully.

We reached the common room shortly. Besides the two we came to talk to, it was still deserted.

James was spread out on the couch staring at the fire and murmuring something to Pete who simply shrugged in response.

James was first to spot us. He drew himself up to a sitting position and nodded his head for us to join them.

I took in a deep breath as I felt Remus stiffen up beside me, and staggered over to them. I paused and turned, realizing that I was the only one walking. Remus had his back against the wall with his arms folded tightly over his chest, intently keeping his gaze on the flames. I sighed and sat beside James who was watching me expectantly.

I cleared my throat and raked my fingers through my hair. A nervous habit I'd picked up…who knows how long ago.

"Er… I'm…actually not really sure what to say here." I tried to laugh, but it came out more in the form of a pathetic whimper.

"So are you and Moony…" Peter's voice trailed off as he shrugged slightly, seemingly unsure of how to phrase it.

I glanced upward at the two. I knew I could trust them. I knew I could.

So why was I so terrified at the thought?

I sighed and nodded. "Uh…yeah. Kinda."

" Oh that's… fantastic then. Good." Peter smiled and, after a moment of awkwardness, gave a thumbs up. James gave him a look before turning his attention back to me.

"How long?"

"Uhm… about a week."

"Well I guess that explains why you've been attached at the hips lately." James laughed.

"And why you nearly caused that 5th year Allison to cry the other day when she was flirting with Moony." Peter mused.

I opened my mouth to retort but paused as Remus silently joined us, taking a seat beside me. He looked pale and was wringing his hands nervously.

James laughed and gave him a slap on the back. "Relax Moony! You're as white as a ghost!"

Peter smiled reassuringly. "What? You think we'd disown you over this?"

"We're the Marauders! Nothing can break us up!" James slung his arm over my shoulder. He froze suddenly and looked from me to Remus with narrowed, suspicious eyes.

"You two aren't…ya know… doing it… in the dormitory are you? No! Forget it! I actually don't wanna know!"

Color flooded Remus' face. "James! Of course not!"

I barked out a laugh "Not _yet _at least!" and gave Remus a wink that only made his ear turn red.

James punched at my sides jokingly. "Well you better make sure me and Wormtail are no where _near _Gryffindor tower that day!"

Even Remus couldn't suppress a chuckle at that.

I watched him adoringly as he laughed. I was relieved at the weight that had lifted from my chest just by coming clean. I sighed deeply and smiled.

Then of course I remembered.

Coming out to your friends was one thing. Especially when you can choose when and how to tell them.

But having the entire school find out because of a pathetic worm by the name of Snivellus… well that was a different story.

One that had been taunting at me constantly since the hospital incident.

"Padfoot? You alright, mate?" Pete was looking at me concernedly.

"Snape." I muttered, feeling Remus tense up beside me. He too seemed to have forgotten that small fact for the moment.

"What about him?" Pete pushed on.

"He knows." I looked down at Remus for a slight moment before going on. "He knows, and he says he's going to tell everyone."

I wasn't ashamed of the fact that I fancied my friend who happened to be a bloke. That wasn't at all the case. It's just that, wizarding world or not, few people accepted homosexuality these days.

Growing up, my mother use to constantly tell me about two muggle boys who were beaten to death, just because they were gay. She told me that if I ever were to tell her I was a… fag, as she so kindly put it, that what would happen to me would be a fate worse than death.

I growled at the memory and stood abruptly. I began to pace anxiously as I raked my fingers through my hair repetitively.

"He wont tell a soul. I'll make sure of it." James stood up, breaking my train of thought immediately. His eyes were narrowed and deadly serious and I couldn't help but feel grateful.

"First thing tomorrow we'll list every possible hex to make his life a living hell" He grinned wickedly.

"Haven't we already done that?" Remus spoke quietly. James, Pete, and I all turned our attention to him.

"We've already made his life hell. It should be only fair that he makes…ours just as bad." His worried eyes locked onto mine before he stood and walked swiftly back up to the dormitory.

I noticed James and Peter exchange an uneasy look before they both turned their attention to my already retreating figure.

I climbed the stairs and pushed open the door leading into our room. Remus was sitting at the foot of his bed rubbing his temples. I sighed and walked over, climbing onto the bed, seating myself behind him. I took his hands and gently removed them, continuing the massage with my own.

A sigh escaped his lips and he let his body lean back against mine. "I can't stand not knowing what's going to happen. If I just knew what to expect I'd be a lot less stressed over it."

I smiled slightly at that so very Remus comment. He wouldn't care if the entire school turned against us, as long as he knew it was going to happen before hand. I kissed the back of his head, which was currently resting against my chest.

"Everything's going to be fine. I promise you." I dropped one hand from his temples, taking his chin and gently tilting his head so I was able to lean forward and kiss his lips.

I drew back slowly and whispered. "I promise."

* * *

_**AN- Hoping this still makes some people happy. Also hoping the style hasn't changed from before. PLEASE if you feel like something's wrong and not meshing well with the last few chapters TELL ME! Anyway. Again I wanna apologize for my extended, unexpected hiatus. But hey, I bet you SOOO didn't expect me to update today! This was a nice surprise. Huh? Huhhh? Am I right?**_


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